Making of an Army Wife

When the good Lord was creating Wives, he was into his sixth day of overtime. An angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" And the Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, but must be sponsored to get on post; have the qualities of both father and mother during deployments; be a perfect hostess to 4 or 40; run on black coffee; handle emergencies without a manual; be able to handle flu, birthdays and moves around the world; have a kiss that can cure anything from a child's torn Valentine to a husband's weary day; have the patience of a saint when waiting for the Unit to return home; and have six pairs of hands." The angel shook her hand slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way!" And the Lord answered, "Don't worry, we'll make other military wives to help. Besides it's not the hands that are causing the problem, it's the heart. It must swell with pride in her husband, sustain the ache of separations, beat on soundly when it's too tired to do so and be large enough to say, "I Understand" when she doesn't, and 'I love you' regardless.""Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently. "Come to bed... finish this tomorrow!" "I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something unique. Already I have one who heals herself when she's sick, can feed three unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and can wave good-bye to her husband, from a pier, off a runway and understand that it is important to his country that he leaves." The angel circled the model of the military wife very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed."But tough," said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this woman can do or endure." "Can it think?" "Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m." Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." "It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear.""What's it for?" asked the angel. "It's for joy. Sadness. Disappointment. Pain, loneliness and pride!" "You are a genius," sighed the angel. The Lord looked somber and replied, "I didn't put it there."

Long time

sorry its been a lot time since i updated our blog so i thought it was about time to update it. If you already don't know I am pregnant again :). Me and the baby are doing great I am 22 weeks along the due date is dec 23, but I am going to get induced on dec 20th that way hyrum can be here for the birth of our child and still get his 3 weeks off of work. As long as I don't have to have a c-section I will give birth at salt lake city, that way both our families don't have to travel that far to see the baby. But if I have to have a c-section I will have the baby at fort knox but I will still go to kemmerer as soon as the doc said we can travel. I really hope I can go to Salt Lake City to have the baby so than we can spend christmas with family and Hyrum will be able to see his family before he has to go back overseas. I will be moving to Kemmerer when Hyrum leaves to go overseas.
Yesterday was our first year anniversary, Hyrum wasn't here with me he is at NTC(nation training center) It was hard to spend it alone but I did alright still sucked. I keep looking at the clock and thinking what I was doing a year ago. Even though I didn't get the wedding of my dreams I got my dream guy. There was a lot of thinks I want to change about that day but It still is the best day of my life.The best part of that day I can still remember that feeling I was walking down the ila with my dad beside me, I couldn't stop smiling. I loved the look on hyrum face. I never say him look more happy than that day. I know our families didn't see eye to eye that day but still that best day of my life.
I have to say our first year of marriage tested us more than we thought it would. Me and Hyrum went thought stuff I never would wish on anyone. When we lost our twins it was the hardest think we ever went though. If Hyrum wasn't with me I don't think I could be where I am today, Hyrum helped me out more than I can't say in words. And I know I help him more than I can say, and I thank everyone who help us though that hard time, losing the twins was the worst part of this year but not the only hard time we had, but me and Hyrum showed each other when we are together we can get thought anything.
Thinks are starting to look way better for us though, I only have 1 year of college left and I graduate college. Never thought I would be able to handle 4 more years of school but I will. After i get my degree I have to do 6 months of training than I can start teaching. I also have my massage therapy degree but can't get a job doing that no one is hiring one it sucks but what can you do. Can't wait until I am done with school, and the best part of the whole think is i didn't have to pay for any of my college it great. Got to love grants and scholarships.

starting over

Well this year has not been much better from the last time I updated our blog. Hyrum grandma die :( and he wasn't able to go home for the furnal that hurt him more than people know, it hurt me knowing how much pain he was in but at lest he got to see her before she left this earth. I fall in to depression it is hard for me to do anything anymore. Dont real want to get out of bed anymore, but i am going to the doctor for it. Our truck needs a new cluck and we will soon have the truck fix we hope. Found out we can't come home on r&r in may because we can home in jan. so hyrum was upset about that because that would have been the last time he could see his family before he goes back over to afgan. Don't think that is fair at all. so we are hoping his family will come out here to see us, my bother will be out here at the end of june and a lot of july so i don't spend my birthday alone because hyrum will be in ntc. So i wont see him for a month that in july. i hope this year gets better

Bad news

I am saying this with a heavy heart i lost my babies, me and hyrum don't know what to do next we had hope that our little boy and girl would be born in this world with the world to welcome them not to nothing, i guess my angles were to perfect so god needed them back with him, for some reason i was not yet to be a mother i don't know why i am being put through this test, and i don't know if i will ever know but i do know that my heavly father wouldn't give me this if i couldn't be strong enought for this test but i just don't feel strong enought for this i am so lost i can't even get out of bed with out being in tears i just don't know what to do please keep me in my prays and hope thinks get better i love you my babies and you are missed


poem


tell me why tell me what i did tell me how i am to deal with thistell me how this is going to make me strongertell me how can i be strong to get me through this
someone please tell me howsomeone please tell me how to fix my heartsomeone please help me feel my broke spirtsomeone please tell me i will be alrightsomeone please let me know i am strong enough
please tell me why please help me sleep at nightplease someone stop the tearsplease someone take my pain awayplease someone hear my screams
I am not strong enough to deal with thisi am not strong enough to get off the floori am not strong enought anymore
someone please give me your strenth someone please help me get through thissomeone please fix my family someone please hear my crys



poem 2


why do everyone want to grow up because let me tell every teenagergrowing up is not everything because when you get in the worldwith out the shield your parents put you under and shield you from the really world
I know that you think you know how the world works because high school is everythingand you know everything and you think
after you get out of the town you are in everything will be so greatyou will make enought money to get a great place to get a great car to have all the fun your parent
wont let you have but let me tell you something about life you just can't see past high school
it is not everything you wantyou can't always get what you needyou have to work so freaking hard
and when you think you going to be alright and your world willbe just great
the one thing you thought you couldnt mess up because it was what you where born to doyou find out you can't even do that right
the real world is hard it doesn't care how hard you fall it doesn't care how bad you cry
it doesn't care that your heart is breaking and there nothing to fix itthere nothing anyone can do
because life just can't give anyone a breakbecause where the dam fun in thatit going to test you it going
to show you have everything going to be before it going to let you have your happy ever after
it going to be dam sure you know that if you want your happy ever afteryou going to have to fight for it
it just not going to give it to you because that just to easy because there can't be happness if there was not pain first